Josh Underwood

New location

2005-08-31T10:32:00.000-04:00

To all who have been reading my online journal.....

I did not quit writing. I have been writing less in the past few weeks because I have had a lot going on, but I did not stop all together. I am only posting on the myspace website now. It's easier to just post there than having to post both places. The address of my myspace site is:

www.myspace.com/joshuaunderwood

and to go directly to the blog:

blog.myspace.com/joshuaunderwood

Thanks for reading.

Prayer or Pride

2005-08-11T08:47:00.000-04:00

I think being prayerful is the opposite of being prideful. When we live a life of constant prayer and communion with God, it is simply an outpooring of Jesus within us. When we pray, we don't use the phrase "in Jesus name" simply because somewhere, a long time ago He hung on the cross for us. Instead we pray in Jesus name because He rose and He now lives within us. Our prayers should be the same as His at the same level of intmacy He shares with the Father. Prayer should never simply be a speech given by us to God. Prayer is the way to build a deeper relationship with Him. We should never pray just to be heard and then be on our way. Our prayer should open the door for us to be one with God. By living a life of continuous dialogue with Him, we are expressing that we want nothing but His desires, and He wants that for us, too. Prayer allows us to be more than just people following after a distant God. It allows us to be one with the awesome God we serve, so that nothing we do will be the work of oursleves, but will instead come from His strength.

Memory verse for the day: 1 Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray continuously"

Dictionary definitions of continuously:
1. In a continuous manner, without interruption
2. unbroken, uninterrupted

So incredibly simple to write, can we make it that simple in our lives? Can we live a life where all we do is depend on God and talk to Him without interruption, without ever stopping for a break?

Summer Camp

2005-08-07T14:11:00.000-04:00

We just got back from camp with CF at Camp Kulaqua. It was awesome, I am a little bummed that it is over. The first day and part of the second, I was a little lost becasue I didn't know very many leaders, which was fine except that I didn't know very many of the kids yet. I was a bit reserved before the camp because I knew it would be that way at first. As camp went on though, it just got better and better as I got to know more kids and the kids got to know each other. The more I work with youth, the more I find that I want to spend time with them. I need to continue to pray about this. I really would love to be a youth pastor someday, but I want to know that God wants that. I just know that I want to be a leader, and I love kids. So we'll see what God wants to do with those desires.

I learned a lot this week. I learned a lot from the speakers. They spoke mostly on things that I already knew, but I know God was really hammering home the point of going back to the gutter and really, truly loving and caring for the people there. I know that sometimes I only help because I feel that I should, and I don't want to do that anymore. I want to serve others because they are loved by the same God who loves me. It was also neat to hear Tim, Andrew, and Scott speak about things that I have been learning on my own. It reaffirmed the truths I know, and it makes me want to spend all my time learning more about God and about Love.
I learned a few things from the kids as well. It was great to spend time with them, to learn about them and how they think, how they interact, how they worship, how much potential they have. I know I want to spend more time with them.
I learned about God and how He works. It was awesome to see how He opened opportunities to meet other leaders and to see how He answered prayers. I continue to learn about worship. It's so amazing to see how the Holy Spirit can completely break down walls. It is interesting for me to see parts of myself in certain kids. Looking at the past compared to the work of the Spirit now is unreal! God is so much more powerful than anything imaginable. If He could work in me, then how could I doubt that He could work in any of those youth?

Basically, camp was great, but then again who really comes back from camp and didn't have a blast? My hope and prayer is that, as Christians, we will live a life that is always in a "camp mentality." I pray that everyday our every action will be focused on God and His love. I don't want camp to be just a good memory for us. I want it to be a starting point, and example, a window that God is visible through.

July 30, 2005 - Trusting God in Others

2005-07-31T00:42:00.000-04:00

I often fall into the trap of putting my trust in other people. In my own life, I am learning to trust God completely, and while it is sometimes difficult, the faith that the Spirit works in us is far more amazing than words can describe. I am learning that I am nothing and can do nothing apart from God, but when it comes to others, whether it be friends, or family, or whoever, I forget that this same Spirit is working, or wants to work in them. I trust people for who they are, or, on the flipside, I don't trust people for who they are. Certain people I respect because I know them to be of good character, but other people I write off as hopeless because they have little or no character. In short, I don't trust God in these people. Oswald Chambers describes how Jesus views people in reference to John 2:24-25. He says that Jesus "never placed His faith in people, yet He was never suspicious or bitter. Our Lord's confidence in God, and in what God's grace could do for anyone, was so perfect that He never despaired, never giving up hope for any person." Jesus knows that man is inherently evil, and He can not trust us alone. However, He has so much confidence in the power of God's saving grace, and He recognizes the life-changing power it has for even the worst of sinners. I crave this confidence in God for other people. Instead of praising men when they succeed, I need to see the work of God in their lives. Conversely, I need to keep hope alive for those who are spiritually and morally dead. God has the power, and He wants to change their lives through His love and grace in the same way He does with me. Christ did not die on the cross for me alone, but I sometimes find myself living as though He did.

Forgiveness

2005-07-28T10:20:00.000-04:00

Sin distances us from God. This is so scary. Sin is a result of unbelief. It can be unbelief that God really exists or that He really cares, or it can even be unbelief that our relationship with Him will be hindered. Since we know that God forgives, we sometimes think that we can sin and everything will still be fine because we can always ask for forgiveness. But why do we treat God this way when we would never thing of acting like this toward our friends here on earth? If I consistently wrong me brother because I know he will always forgive me, I am taking advantage of him, or using him. How frightening is it to know that I have taking advantage of God! When we constantly take advantage of someone, it is pretty clear that the relationship is not meaningful. It usually serves to temporarily satisfy the "user" while leaving the "used" feeling pretty empty. This is the same with our relationship with God. How can I be in an intimate relationship with my Lord if I use Him for my gain? Forgiveness is a powerful thing. God's grace is expressed to us through it even though we are filthy. Forgiveness is essential to salvation, it is the key to experiencing God's love. Instead of perverting it into an excuse to keep sinning, lets recognize the amazing love and saving grace God shows us through it.

Isn't He Still Here?

2005-07-24T01:13:00.000-04:00

I have recently come to the realization that we are not called to be imitators of Christ. For most of my Christian life this is what I always attempted to do. I strived to do what I thought He would do. I would spend all of my spiritual energy trying to be like Him, to be perfect. There is a major problem with this. I am human. I am not perfect, I am a sinner. I would quickly fail in my attempts to imitate Christ, and this failure would bring discouragement and the realization that I could not be good enough. However, through some sort of experience, I would be spiritually encouraged again, and I would start the process all over again. The failure would eventually come, and the falls were getting harder to accept. I just didn't understand it. I thought I had it all figured out, like some sort of "secret recipe" for the way to be a Christian.

Who can blame anyone for wanting to be like Christ? After all, He lived a sinless life, the example of how we should all live. But that perfection creates the problem. My self-dependence in trying to be like Christ overshadowed my need for His grace. My successes in being like Christ quickly turned into a self-righteous pride, and my failures only served to make me resent God for setting such a high standard. As you can see, what started out as a noble goal, ultimately turned into a life filled with sin and deceit.

I am so stubborn. I kept trying to do things my way, to let God pick me up only to abandon Him again once I was on my feet. It wasn't until He personally intervenedwhen I was finally able to see the Truth. Through certain situations orchestrated by Him, I was able to see the amazing grace I had so often sung about but never truly understood.

I found there was something more this time than just a pick-me-up. The Holy Spirit showed me that the power that Jesus had through His Father was the same power He offers to us as believers. How freeing and humbling is that! No longer did I have to try and live up to an impossible standard.

The entire New Testament talks about the power of Christ in us, not just as an example for us. I want to change the WWJD slogan to WIJD. I know its not as catchy, but I think it is closer to the Truth. "What Would Jesus Do" implies that there is some standard that Christ left for us that we now have to try to figure out and live up to. For me, "What Is Jesus Doing" is more appropriate. He is alive, He is living through all believers. We are not called to be imitators. We are created to be be conformed to His likeness, and to let His love and life flow freely through mine.

July 20, 2005 - www.persecution.com

2005-07-21T01:56:00.000-04:00

Tonight in youth group we talked and learned about people scattered across the world who are being persecuted for being bold followers of Christ. Many are in prison. Some are beaten daily. One story we read told of a man in China who has led over 50 people to Christ since being in prison. Because of this, the guards beat him so severely that both of his legs were broken, and he took blows to the head that caused mental confusion. This is just one brief story. There are so many others. Not just stories, but real lives.

I hope the kids got an understanding of what true faith is really like. For me, these real-life stories blew me away. We occasionally hear of modern day martyrs, but it is something so foreign to us as Americans. We have freedom to worship Jesus anytime, anyplace (well, not exactly anymore, but I don't feel like getting into that tonight!). The point is, we have religious freedom. We can go to church without fear of being beaten or thrown into prison. We take this for granted.

So many times I get caught up in my own little world. I think on all the things that God has for my life. What a selfish way this is! Nights like tonight remind me that there are people right now as I write this that are sitting in a prison because they refuse to disown Jesus. He is so real. The faith of these brothers and sisters not only convicts me, but it encourages me of God's great glory! God is so faithful to these followers. I will probably never meet anyone who was put in prison for Christ, but God has glorified His Son through their passionate devotion to Him.

It is easy to see the undescribable faith of these people in their hardships, and in turn belittle my relationship with God. This is a false view. God has put me where I am for a reason, and He wants to glorify His Son through me just as He does with anyone else. I can only be responsible for what is placed before me now. I must not feel insignificant, but I must be faithful to do all that I can with what I have been given. Luke 16:10 states that "Whoever can be trusted with very little can be trusted with very much..." I want to be trusted with what I am given now so that I will continually be provided with opportunities to show God's incredible grace.

If you want to check out the website, its www.persecution.com

We are all related

2005-07-19T00:19:00.000-04:00

The world is so much bigger than I realize. I find it interesting how I think that being an American is normal, and everyone else is different. There are so many people in this country, it is very easy to forget that we are just one part of this gigantic world. I hate how we Americans tend to think that we are so great. We worship everything America, our power, our wealth, our pride. Okay, I am not anti-America, I think we have done a lot of good for a lot of others, but haven't we become so prideful? Every person on this earth was created by the same God, yet we somehow think that Americans are special because of what? Is it because we happen to have an undefeatable military? Is that why God loves us more than the rest of the world?

I often find myself picturing Jesus as some white guy with long, stringy hair and a nice full beard. In fact, in most pictures, He looks much like a typical American. Why do I forget that Jesus was a Jew? He lived in Jerusalem. He didn't speak English (good thing too, because then people would have thought He was even more crazy, going around speaking a language that hadn't been created yet!).

I hate how our society has made it easy for me to turn the leaders of the Bible intor "Great American Heroes." Maybe it's just me, but I feel like I take Biblical history and Americanize it. Wasn't the Garden of Eden near modern day Iran? Wasn't Moses from Egypt? The Bible has nothing to do with America, yet I envision those people as if they were just like me.
Anyway, I am rambling. I just want to make sure that I don't create a false view of the Bible. I am so thankful that God extends His grace to all who accept it. I want to stop worshipping Him as the God of our nation and start praising Him as the Father of all mankind. I wish I could wipe out stereotyping, prejudice, and racism. I wish we all could see that we are all made in the image of Him. He must be so beautiful, so incredibly more than we can ever imagine! Am I ready to celebrate my brotherhood with Iraqis, Koreans, Mexicans, etc.? Or have I fallen too deep into the trap of Americanizing my faith?

Believe! Believe! Believe!

2005-07-14T00:32:00.000-04:00

Very short writing today, but the most important one I've written.

Believe God created all things.

Believe Jesus was the Son of God.

Believe that the Bible is His inspired Word and Truth.

If you really, truly, completely, positively (plug in your own synonym here) believe this to be true, your life will be changed. These are not my words, but the words of the very God we claim to believe in.

July 11, 2005 - Unbelief

2005-07-11T14:39:00.000-04:00

Do we really believe in Jesus? I mean really, passionately, wholeheartedly believe that Jesus is the Son of God? It is possible to convince ourselves that we believe, even ig the way we live says otherwise. In this case, we are like the people in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast that John describes at the end of the 2nd chapter in his gospel. These people saw the miraculous signs Jesus did, and they believed in His name. Jesus must have been thinking something along the lines of "Great! These people see the Truth, they believe in me," right? Nope, instead John says that Jesus would not entrust himself to them because He knew their hearts. The people had seen signs and miracles that they could not explain, so they knew they believed there was something different about Jesus. However, Jesus knew that while they were amazed at what He did, they didn't believe in their hearts that He was the Son of God.

I think we "believe" like this sometimes. We see the amazing grace of God, the blessings He has poured out in our lives, and the circumstances He has rescued us from. Through these things we recognize that He is real. Unfortunately, we believe without action. With our lips we tell Jesus that we see His work and we believe, but with our hearts we refuse to give Him complete control of our lives.

If we have convinced ourselves that we truly believe, then what I have just written is hard on the ears. We do have good intentions, and we really do think we believe in all the He is. If this is true, then why do our actions speak otherwise? Why don't we spend more time in God's Word than we do watching TV or movies? If we believed in Him, the things He said would be so much more important to us than some TV show that serves simply to pass the time. In John 6, Jesus said "I am the bread of life." True life is found in His Word. Why don't we spend more time in prayer? And when we do pray, why don't we truly have faith that it will happen? Jesus commands us to always be in prayer, and not only communicate with God, but to have such a faith that we no longer worry because we know God will answer. If our desires were truly aligned with God's Truth, then we would gain everything we asked for! Can we pray with this faith? We must truly trust and believe, but it is possible with the Holy Spirit.

Remember the people at the Passover Feast. Although they believed, Jesus didn't entrust Himself to them. He knew their hearts, just like He knows ours. We can fool ourselves, but we can't fool God. If we don't truly believe, He can't trust His Holy Spirit in us. However, if we surrender our entire beings to Him, his Holy Spirit will bring us a peace we could never imagine; a peace of knowing that no matter what is happening in the world around us, God is in complete control.

London Attacks

2005-07-09T20:51:00.000-04:00

More terrorist attacks. It is hard to understand the minds of terrorists. There ideas are something so foreign to us. It is easy to write them off as sick and twisted individuals and view them as an enemy of all that is good in this world. They are cowards. They attack harmless people without warning. It only makes sense for us to want to hate them.

I think we have to understand that they are humans, just like us. The Lord wants their hearts as much as He wants ours! How can I hate someone my Lord created. When we lift up the victims in prayer, should we not also pray for these wicked men? In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus commands us to "love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us" (Matthew 5:44).

It is a true shame that these people are so passionate for false ideas. Most of these terrorists are willing to die in their attacks because of the passion they have for their religion and its teachings. They believe that the western world is evil and is an enemy. They are willing to die to bring down this enemy of their god. Unfortunately, their passion is misguided, and it is not only there own lives that they take in vain, but it is the lives of many others as well.

We cannot fight passion. We say we are waging a war against terrorism, but as long as these people remain devoted to their religion, they are going to continue to plot against their enemies. That is the very nature of what they believe. So we must see why prayer, not violence or hate, is a vital key in stopping terrorism. It is a hard thing to do, to pray for such a cowardly and harmful people. However, it is the only way we can make a lasting difference. Apart from God we can do nothing. Does that cease to apply here?

Don't misunderstand me. I don't condone any actions that these people carry out, but I do believe that the correct answer isn't to store up hate and anger against these wicked people. Psalm 37:8 tells us to refrain from anger and turn from wrath. Instead, let us pray for our Lord's will to be done in whatever way He plans. I don't have any answers, it doesn't seem like many people do. I trust that the Lord knows best, so I will voice that to Him.

July 7, 2005 - A Transformed Life

2005-07-08T11:38:00.000-04:00

This is a little longer than normal, I just wrote what God put on my heart, so if that is important to you, then it is worth your time to read.

All the knowledge in the world is useless if I can't put it into practice in my life daily. I know there's a catchy little saying or something that I can't remember, but for me it is important that growing in Christ is not about information, but about transformation. I can learn all about God. I can see how much He loves me, how much He wants to use me. I can memorize Scripture or even preach the Gospel, but all of this is useless if I can't be a living example of God's Love and grace.

The other night during a soccer game (with no refs, call your own fouls), I was called for a hand ball that I didn't believe I had committed. I took offense that the guy was accusing me of hitting the ball with my hand when I knew I didn't. For some reason unknown to me, I got in the guy's face and started yelling that I hadn't touched it with my hand. Instead of turning the other cheek, I let my emotions get the best of me. Honestly, there is no other way to explain it other than admitting that I let Satan control that situation. Even though I immediately calmed down and realized my sin, it was too late, I had already made a fool out of myself. What's worse is that I model my life after Jesus Christ, so I made a fool out of him, also.

Through this incident, I learned a lot about myself, about God, and about my call to be a witness in all that I do. I don't want to go out and play soccer just to get exercise, or have fun, or even to win some trophy. I want to play because it's something I enjoy doing and I have an amazing opportunity to be a witness to the Love of Christ in my life not only to the guys I don't know, but to my friends as well. I don't want to do anything unless God is glorified through it. Sure, playing soccer is fun, but it isn't important to God. What is important to Him is taking something I have a passion for and using it to glorify His name. Unfortunately, I was the exact opposite of what I am called to be the other night.

I was reminded that Satan can grab you at any place, at any time. I am very non-confrontational, I haven't been in a fight in my entire life. I did have moments during high school sports where I ran my mouth too much, but that has been behind me for quite a while. The point is, I hadn't spent any time praying that God would use me as a witness the other night. I wanted to be a positive example, but I guess that I thought I was "good enough" to do it on my own. This is frustrating for me to look back on because I feel that I usually spend my entire day in conversation with God. The truth is that I left Him out of this area for a split second, and that was too long. I have to be in Him every second of every day. I want to be! I can do nothing apart from Him, but for some reason, I tried. Thank you Jesus for teaching me now!

The truth is that I messed up. Although I strive to be perfect (and I always should), there is inevitably going to be a time of failure. What is important is that God not only forgives, but He speaks if we are willing to listen. I learned so much through this one incident, I could write for hours! I learned about God's grace, about my call to witness, about accountability, about trying to do anything without Christ, about forgiveness, about second chances, and the list goes on. I thank God for showing me so much. A sin will always be a sin, something I must strive to avoid and seek forgiveness for if I fail. Forgiveness is not enough though, God wants to speak, to reveal Himself through our recognition of sin. When we mess up, let's run to Him and seek His Truth. He is trying to show it to us.

July 6, 2005 - God Given Vision

2005-07-07T17:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, I don't have much to say other than "Wow!" Today's devotional in My Utmost for His Highest was written for me, I think. If no one else ever read this devotional, if no one else ever learned anything from any of his other writings, his work would not have been wasted because I today's writing spoke to me like nothing else ever written by man. I felt like a wrote a letter to him explaining what God was doing in my life and he wrote me back through this devotional. Everything I have been learning about the character, power, and love of God was real as I read what Chambers was saying about vision becoming reality. I literally fell to my hands and knees in adoration of God as He was revealing His truth to me! I had no choice, I didn't feel I was worthy of such a revelation. He gave it to me though, and I am so excited at how my life is continuing to change, just when I think He can't get any better! It is so hard to rely completely on Him sometimes, and I am so thankful that He loves me so much that He keeps opening my eyes to see How amazing He really is. I have the vision. I want to be as He calls me to be here on earth, a life striving to be like His Son in all I do. If I sound crazy, its because I am. Read the devotional for today, maybe this will make some sense to you.

Myspace.com

2005-07-06T11:21:00.000-04:00

Ok, this is really random, but if you haven't checked out myspace.com yet, then you should. Jess told me she created a space or whatever, so I thought I would check it out. I noticed that there were quite a few people in her friends list that I knew, and I hadn't talked to in forever. Anyway, so many people have a space on there, and its really easy to get in touch with people you haven't talked to in a while. So, my point is, if you come on here and read my journal, first of all thanks, I hope you are learning more about me and how God is speaking to me, and second, check out this myspace thing, its seems like a really good way to keep in touch with people. My address is www.myspace.com/joshuaunderwood. Talk to you all soon.

July 5, 2005 - God's Amazing Plans

2005-07-05T17:38:00.000-04:00

God is really trying to show me Himself in daily, everyday life. I tend to think His plans are always huge concepts, but yet they are often simple tasks of putting others first, such as lending a helping hand when you just don't feel like it, or sitting and listening to a friend when you really wish you were anywhere but there! God wants to break us of our selfishness and pride. The truth is that He has huge, world-changing plans for us! Do you really think God just wants us to be nice for the sake of being nice? No way! He wants to use our humility to change the lives of others. We will never last if we think we aren't making a difference in this world. Being humble just to be humble does no good for God or for ourselves. However, being humble because we realize that God wants to do amazing things through us is the greatest reward we can ask for. If God can trust you to put Him first no matter how small the situation may seem to us, then of course He is going to start (or continue) to do amazing things through you. I want God to know that He can trust me in anything, so I have to walk with Him every step of the way to gain His trust. He wants to change the world through us! Can He trust us?

Going to School

2005-07-04T09:17:00.001-04:00

God has opened my eyes to see how little I really know. I have such a hunger for knowledge now. It's exciting, but at times extremely overwhelming. I have been thinking about going to school to learn more about Christianity and also other religions. I want to know the history behind all of it. Why do people believe what they believe. If we really cared about where other people believe, we would be much more effective witnesses. I don't want to convert someone to Christianity because I am supposed to. I want to convert them because I love them as God's children, and I want them to experience His unfailing love. I think that knowledge of our own faith and of others faith can never be a bad thing.

I don't really know where to start with this whole school thing though. I don't know about the money it would cost, I don't know if I would want to get a degree or something like a Masters in Theology or whatever, or if I would just want to take a couple of classes somewhere. I know that a degree is absolutely no importance to me. I just want to learn. There is no goal of one day hanging a plaque on my wall to show how smart I am. I don't really have a burning desire to be a pastor, although I don't have a desire not to be one either. Anyway, I just bring that up because I don't think I want to go to seminary or something where the goal is to graduate and get a pastoral job. I do know that I want to be the best Christian leader I can be. I guess that can really be anything. I just want to spend my life telling people about God's love, and I want to help other Christians dive deeper than the surface. I know that I don't need to go to a school to be a leader, but I crave knowledge with everything that I am, and I think school would obviously be a great learning opportunity. I would rather spend my free time learning instead of wasting it away in front of the TV or movie screen. At the same time, I just want to be where God wants me. I don't want to spend time learning at some school if God wants me to be serving in some other area.

Anyway, my point in all of this is that I need your prayers. Please pray that I will follow God when and wherever He leads. I would also appreciate any thoughts or experiences you may have with going to some sort of school. You can comment on this article on this website, or just email me. If I sound crazy, it's because I am. It's amazing how God changes lives!

July 4, 2005 - The Sin of Worrying

2005-07-04T08:46:00.000-04:00

At some point in our lives, all of us have worried about something or someone. This means that we have all had a time in our lives where we refused to trust God. I don't think I ever fully grasped how sinful worrying is. Worrying arises in us when we are determined to focus on our plans and desires. We worry that our plans and desires might not be fulfilled because God may have other plans for us. What a sin it is to hold on to selfish desires!

Worrying is a great indicator of where we stand our relationship with God. The more we worry, the less we trust Him. In his devotional today, Oswald Chambers reminds us that Jesus never worried. He was completely focused on the plans of His Father. He never allowed Himself to develop any plans outside of His Father's will, so He had nothing to worry about. This is how we are to live. We should be completely devoted to God so that we only want His desires. If we are devoted to His will in the same way that Jesus was, we will have nothing to worry about.

Side note: If you have a copy, or can borrow a copy from someone, read today's (July 4) writing in "My Utmost for His Highest." We have all struggled with worrying at some point because we are all sinful. I think Oswald Chambers does an excellent job describing what worrying really means.

July 1, 2005 - God's Plans

2005-07-02T15:48:00.000-04:00

The Lord will always offer us His unfailing grace. If we accept it, He will save us from eternal punishment. However, this doesn't meant that we are free from punishment here on earth. I sometimes find myself asking God why I am still suffering the pain of my sins if I have given them completely to Him. I think we forget that there are consequences for our sins. Sin is anything that moves us away from God, so of course there will be some sort of reaction to the act of sinning. If we don't answer the call of God when we hear it, what do we expect will happen? Do we think God is calling us just to get our attention? He is calling because He wants our complete focus on what He has planned for us. If we do not listen, then obviously we are missing out. We can't blame anyone but ourselves when we choose to ignore God. He has perfect plans for us, but we have to choose to accept them.

Don't be discouraged if you have ignored God's call, though. He will call again. We may have missed out on His will for us, but He adapts and forms a new plan that we must be willing to follow. Isom brought the life of David to my attention. David messed up big time. He committed adultery with Bathsheba and then had her husband killed. In spite of all of this, God called David a man after His own heart. Doesn't that say wonders about the God's forgiveness! Just because God forgave David doesn't mean that he went unpunished. In fact, his sons were murdered and there was turmoil in his family. You see, David missed out on what God had originally planned for the rest of his life. God didn't want His sons to die, but as a result of David's sin, God's plans changed.
However, when David realized his sin, he gave it up completely to God. God then called David to follow Him once again.

God has a perfect plan for us all. Give Him your complete devotion, it's not too late.

June 30, 2005 - Our Right to Oursleves

2005-07-01T08:38:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed that as Christians, we tend to ask God what possessions, or how much money, or how much time we should give up to Him? We often act as though we have the right to keep things for ourselves, and then give God a portion of what we have. The problem with this is that we haven't realized that we no longer have a right to ourselves. The fundamental part of being a Christian is that we give our lives up to God! If we have given our lives up, then why do we still keep things for ourselves? Everything we possess is now God's. If we try to hold on to something, we are robbing God of what we have already given to Him when we gave Him our lives.

Pride and selfishness are two reasons why we tend to hold on to things of this world. We think that we earned what we have, so we should be able to do what we please with most of it. We fail to acknowledge that "Every good and perfect gift is from above..." (James 1:17). If we realized that every good thing we have came from God, then how could we hold on to something that He entrusted us with in the first place? Who am I to tell God what he can and can not use? What good can I possibly do by keeping things for myself?

Another reason we struggle with letting God have everything is that we have little faith. Read Luke 12:22-34. We are often afraid to give God everything because we know that we atleast need some money and clothes in order to survive. We think we have to hold on to something in order for basic survival. Jesus rebukes that way of thinking in this passage. He reassures us that God knows how to take care of His children. We need to have faith that God is wiser than we are. Sounds obvious, but how come we don't realize it all the time?

In Mark 10, we see the story of the rich young man. He had followed all the commandments since he was a boy, but he couldn't give up his wealth. Are we living like this? We follow God's commands because we know we are supposed to, but we really haven't given Him absolutely everything. If Jesus said to you right now, "Sell everything you have and give it to the poor," could you do it? It the answer is no, have you really given your life over to Christ?

June 29, 2005 - Cutting Off

2005-06-29T15:42:00.000-04:00

Once you hear God speak, you can never be the same. If you listen to Him, and allow Him to be real to you, your entire world will start to change. Things that seemed important to you are suddenly not. Things that you like to do for fun start to seem like just a waste of time. Let me explain. Jesus said in Matthew 5:30 that if your hand causes you to sin, then cut it off. Jesus doesn't want us to start chopping off body parts. He does want us to realize that something that isn't necessarily a bad thing can be us to lead us into sin. Our hands can do great things if we allow God to use them, but they can lead us and others to sin if we try to keep them for ourselves. A practical example in my life is sports. Sports in general are not a bad thing, but I used to revolve things in my life around watching and following sports. Watching sports isn't something most people would consider a sin. However, when God revealed His unfailing love and grace to me, I could not justify spending any more time watching sports. They suddenly became a waste of time. How could I spend time caring about a game involving people I will never know, when I could be spending time learning about the Creator of the Universe and how much He loves me! I challenge everyone to let God show you what is important to Him. Your entire life will change to value what God values.

June 28, 2005 - Struggling for Discernment

2005-06-28T07:01:00.000-04:00

When we hear God's voice we have to immediately act upon that. Too many times we hear God, but then we ask Him to show us a sign that this is really what He wants. We have this idea that we are supposed to be patient and essentially wait for God to show us how everything is going to work out before we act upon His call. Don't get me wrong, patience is an essential characteristic to following God. But, if we clearly hear Him calling, He doesn't want us to be "patient" and wait for Him to work out the details. That is not really patience, that is fear. We are to afraid that we might fail if we run to follow His call, so we don't take this risks and act on our faith. In that situation, our faith is really not faith at all because we are only waiting for God to show us more when He has already given us the call. Don't be afraid to follow God's call when He speaks to you.

On the other hand, I do know that patience is essential to hearing God's call. Patience is essential when we know God is speaking to us, but what can't clearly discern what He is calling us to. We can't just pick up and follow what we think God would want. We have to completely rely on Him to show us exactly what His call is. We do this through prayer, reading His word, and seeking the counsel of other believers. There is no set time limit on when God will clearly reveal His will to us. This is where patient is of the utmost importance in a Christians life. Don't act on something you are not sure is from God. This is not really faith either, because most of the time, the call we act on will be the call we have put upon ourself, not the call that God has given us. When God's will is unclear, you must patiently seek to know Him until He chooses to reveal it to you.

As Christians, we often speak of "God's timing". Everything is perfect in God's timing. While this is true, be careful not to settle for your view of God's timing. He does not call always call us to sit and wait while He figures out all the details. He wants us to act blindly to His call in faith. Other times, He wants us to be patient with Him as He clearly reveals His will to us. God's timing is different in every situation. He is not and will never be a formula.

June 25, 2005 - The Joy of Suffering

2005-06-27T01:05:00.000-04:00

Suffering exists for out benefit. Read James 1:2. James tells us to consider it pure joy when we face trials. Let me stop right there. I have read this verse many times, but I only recently grasped what James is really saying. He says to consider it pure joy, not consider it to be "okay", or consider it to be "acceptable" when you face trials. We need to understand that trials and suffering test our faith. This pain makes us question God. As Christians, we tend to think that since God is with us always, we will have all the answers when we come across some personal suffering. God doesn't create robots. He doesn't give us a formula to follow when trouble comes our way. He calls us to rely completely on Him, to stretch our faith beyond our self-made limits. Trials, temptations, pain, and suffering are all opportunities for us to grow our faith in Jesus Christ. Do you see now why we should consider these to be pure joy? The next time you face trials, immediately thank God for the opportunity to grow closer to Him. You will be amazed at how your attitude toward the pain changes!

June 21, 2005 - Role Models

2005-06-24T22:30:00.000-04:00

It is very late. I don't have much time to write tonight, which is unfortunate because I have learned so much in these first few days here at camp. I won't be able to get through everything tonight. I can't completely think straight, I am so exhausted, so hopefully what comes out on paper is close to what I am thinking in my head. I have to go to sleep, tomorrow morning will be here very soon! That's okay though, I love all of these kids. I love being able to be a positive role model to them. One thing I've learned is that kids look up to adults whether the adults realize it or not. Kids are going to copy what they see adults doing. We can choose to be either positive or negative influences. If you want to be a positive influence, you have to be a good example all the time. One misstep, and kids will think that it is okay for them to do that, too!
To me, I have always perceived camp as a created high that is very temporary, but this week I have come to see how camp parallels real life from a leader's point of view. I am completely relying on God this week to live through me because it is the only way I can be a continuous positive influence to these kids. I need to continue this after camp. I need to realize that my friends, my family, and even all other people need to see me as a person that has given up his own life, and is now letting God live through him. God calls is to be examples, not just at a camp, but in real life. Too many times, I don't treat others like Jesus would. I can't, because I don't allow Him to constantly do it through me. I am incapable of treating others like Jesus would if I am trying to do it myself. I can't wait for tomorrow so I can let Jesus serve others through me. My prayer is that I will give myself to Him every morning so He can use me exactly as He wants!

June 19, 2005 - Self-Reliance or Complete Devotion?

2005-06-19T23:43:00.000-04:00

The last two days of readings in "My Utmost for His Highest" have been incredible for me. I could really fell God speaking to me through Oswald Chambers. Things that I had been praying about were being shown to me here and now. It was a pretty intense feeling, knowing that God was revealing some of His truth to me.

One thing I struggle with is self-reliance. I let God lift me up and work through me, but as I let Him work, I somehow get all mixed up and think I am doing the work. I forget to rely completely on God. I tend to fellowship with Him on an "as needed" basis until I completely mess things up and then have nowhere else to turn but to Him. By then, it is nearly impossible to recognize His voice because I have put my own voice ahead of it for some time. God calls us to be recklessly abandoned to Him. We can't worry about what is around us or why. He will reveal that to us in His time, which is always the best time. Instead of looking at my surroundings and then relying on my own judgment, He is telling me to trust that He knows best.

I have to listen to what all He says if I expect Him to make my paths straight. Not just listen, but hear, acknowledge, and act upon His call. Hearing and acknowledging isn't usually the problem. Its the acting upon that call that takes complete devotion to Him. I can hear God speaking and then just tune Him out. Maybe I get scared of the risks that are involved, of the things that are unknown to me but seen by Him. The problem is that He can't make my paths straight if I keep hindering His work by choosing an easy alternate route. This alternate route doesn't have to be something we normally think of as bad. If I dedicate my time and thoughts to helping others but do not rely on Jesus, this is an alternate route. Its easy to trust God when I see a problem that I can fix. Conversely, it is hard for me to follow God when I hear His call but have no idea where it is leading. Another trap I fall into is that I will try to follow some plan I hear in church about how to follow Jesus. Jesus is not a plan. no one would follow a detailed plan on how to hang out and have a good time with their best friend. So why do churches give us plans on how to hang out with God? He is a real being, with emotions and thoughts. I don't want another instruction manual on how to love God. I want complete devotion to Him. I want to take all the risks. I know that the reward is great. Its time for me to live in total reliance on Him, and be willing to follow His call wherever it leads.

Random Thoughts on Reading

2005-06-18T18:53:00.000-04:00

These are some random thoughts I wrote last night before bed. They make sense to me, but I can't guarantee that they will all make sense to someone else. Anyway, skim through it if you want, you might find something interesting.

I just bought a bunch of books from Christianbooks.com. Seven books to be exact. Never did I think that I would purchase seven books at one time. In fact, seven book in one year was not fathomable for me. Mor like seven books in ten years! It was just over a month ago that I was telling Jess how I hated reading. Now I am sitting here with a box of seven brand new books, each waiting to be read. I am so excited to get started. I want to finish each one by tomorrow! I wonder why I have completely changed my attitude about reading. I think I know the answer. Jesus has made Himself real to me. He has shown me my purpose for living, which is simply to live in an intimate relationship with Him and follow wherever He leads. He has inspired me to learn the truth about Him, about myself, and about all His other children. My eyes have been opened to see how much knowledge is in this world, not just about Him, but about everything the world has to say. Which is truth, which is lies? I want to know. I want to know what people think about life. I want to know what people think about God. That is where books com into play.
A book is a fragment of someone's mind expressed on paper. I will never get a chance to talk with C.S. Lewis, but I can share in his thoughts through his books. I may never get to have a discussion with leaders of other religions such as Judaism or Islam, but I can learn about what they believe about God through reading.
Anyway, in all of this rambling I lost track of my point in writing tonight. When I look at all the books out there, I get overwhelmed. Where should I start? What authors should I read? Is this book worth it, or just a waste of my time? When I opened my box of books today, I asked God to show me where to start because I had no idea which book I should choose. I wanted to dig in to all of them. God pointed me in a direction outside of that box. He said "Read my Word." I said, "But God, I just bought all these new books!" He said, "They are all useless unless they can strengthen your knowledge of My Word. Read My Word."
I think I jumped ahead of myself tonight. The whole point of reading is to further my understanding of what is truth and what is not. If I read all the books in the world, but don't keep myself filled with God's truth, then I will have wasted all my time. Not only that, but I will have a very blurred vision of the truth. With all that the world has to tell us, we must be able to test everything against God's perfect Word. My books will have to wait until I have spent my time studyin God's truth.

June 15, 2005 - Peaks and Valleys

2005-06-17T00:42:00.000-04:00

Peaks and valleys. Just writing that phrase makes me cringe. My biggest struggle with my faith is the cycle of peaks and valleys that rules in my life and the lives of many of my Christian friends. One problem with peaks and valleys is that my peaks are like Everest. When God brings me to those peaks, the spiritual high is absolutely incredible. I can not imagine spending one second out of fellowship with Him. However, God gradually lets me down from that peak. At first, I wondered why God would want us down in the valleys. Oswald Chambers says that the valleys are a test of genuine character. It is easy to be in fellowship with Christ when you feel His arms wrapped aroung you. He wants to see How you respond when He releases you from that bear hug and sends you out to proclaim His love to an evil world. God did this with His own Son, Jesus Christ. Look at Matthew 17, the story of the Transfiguration. Jesus was so filled with the Spirit that His face was physically glowing like the sun. Then, Moses and Elijah showed up and started talking with Him. Now that is a peak I would not want to come down from! If it were me, I would have probably told God that the world below was going to have to wait, because I was going to stay up there and kick it with Moses and Elijah for a while longer! However, Jesus comes down to the crowds, and goes back to being light to a world of unbelievers. This is how we are to live our lives. We need these valleys. They develop our character, and they allow us to appreciate God's love for us. If we were constantly on spiritual highs, how easy it would be to forget How redeeming God's love really is! My problem is the way I respond in the valleys. I want big and challenging tasks assigned to me. I tend to think God only calls us to do things that will immediately change the world. How wrong am I! God calls us to be witnesses to His grace in our lives everyday in the small things, the things we think He doesn't care about. In John 13, we see that Jesus washed the disciples feet, a task that seems a bit demeaning for a man who has talked to Moses and Elijah and is about to die for the sins of the entire world. However, it set an example that we should consider no act to be below us. Think about it, would you want to wash my feet? Okay, so I wouldn't be so excited to wash yours, either! But God wants us to be excited! He has given us opportunities like this everyday. Ways to serve others, ways to serve Him. In Matthew25:40, Jesus tells us that "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." If we want to know how to serve God in the valleys, we have to start by serving His people every chance we have. Don't wait for something you think is big. Build your character in the small tasks, and God will entrust you with much.

June 14, 2005 - Remain Completely

2005-06-16T11:37:00.000-04:00

In John 15:4 , Jesus says "Remain ("abide" in some translations) in me, and I will remain in you." This is great news! If we as Christians want to know how to have more of Christ, we should look at this and the surrounding verses in John 15. Okay, so we get it, it sounds simple, right? Abide in Christ and He will give you His all. But how do we really abide in Him? Notice he doesn't say, "Give up some of your time to me..." or "Do good works..." as a requirement for getting His all. He says "Remain." In verses 5-7, He tells us that we can do nothing apart from Him. This sounds harsh and maybe even hard to believe at first, but what He means is that we can't do anything that matters for eternity without Him. Sure, we can build wealth, or become famous, or even find a cure for a disease without accepting Christ's help. Lots of people have done these things on their own. But they have zero value when it comes to impacting eternity. Wealth and fame will die with you, and you're still eventually going to die even after that doctor cures you of that life-threatening disease. If we want to make a lasting difference, we must remain in Christ. I never answered the question I raised about how to do this. The answer is found in verses 7-12. Jesus says in verse 7 that His words must remain in us. In verse 10, He says we must obey His commands. In verse 12, He sums up all of His commands into one by telling us to "Love each other as I have loved you." We know that Jesus doesn't love us part-time or conditionally. He gave us everything He had. He is asking for that in return. Sounds impossible, right? How can we give Him EVERYTHING!? Remember that He said that we can do nothing apart from Him. If we believe Him, then why wouldn't we want to give Him every part of our lives? I know I don't want any parts in me that are incapable of doing any good. He wants to guide us in everything that is important in our lives. He wants us to share everything with Him. You want all of Jesus? Give Him all of you.

June 13, 2005 - Holy Experiments

2005-06-16T11:18:00.000-04:00

Give up our right to the self, we will become God's holy experiment! He will use us in new and exciting situations. An experiment is a risk. Although the experimentor has a vision and a purpose for his experiment, it is not proven to work. The point of an experiment is to try something new and see how it works and responds. A man-made experiment doesn't always succeed. Sometimes there are obstacles that the experimentor did not foresee, and therefore, he forgot to equip his experiment with the proper tools to overcome such obstacles. God's experiments always succeed! But we have to be willing to take that risk with Him. He has equipped us with everything needed to fight obstacles through Jesus. We may not know what those obstacles are until we come face to face with them, but, through Jesus, we will creatively find a way to overcome. Be continually renewed by Jesus and the well of the Spirit will continually flow fresh throughout your life. Abandon everything to Jesus, come to Him. Let God be creative with you!